#290: Ruling on Being Patient with Parents
Question
Salaamu Alaikum beloved ones, please there is a brother whose parents tell him to stay away and they told him they never wants to see him with this scholar (a truthful scholar, with a very sound aqeeda, a scholar of great substance) but the brother refused, please do obeying the parents on this regard take precedence over refusing, please, jazakumullahu khayran for your efforts
ANSWER
Wa alaikum salaam Wa Rahmatullah Wa barakatuh, if this scholar is really as you have described him, then I advice you to try your best to make your parents understand the reality of this scholar. They might have a prior wrong information or impression about him.
You have to understand that they are saying this only out of love for you as they don’t want any harm to befall you especially in these periods where deception is the order of the day.
So while you keep trying your best to correct their understanding, you should restrict your relationship with the scholar to only very important lessons you learn from him without letting your parents Know about this.
You have an example in the story of the boy in as haabul ukhdood. When the monk told him,…. If your parents complain about your lateness, tell them that the magician delayed you. And if the magician complains about your lateness, tell him that your parents delayed you.
And we strongly advice that the process of trying to make your parents understand should be fully based on respect and wisdom without haste. And it should be based on solid evidences, and be very open minded regrading the reasons they will forward to you. And be patient with this until Allah makes them understand.
If however you cannot meet with the scholar for your lessons without your parents knowing, then we advice you to be patient and seek an alternative which both meets the criteria of the shariah and pleasing to your parents.
And Allah knows best.
Jazaakumullahu khairan!
Baarakallahu feekum!
Answered by Abu Hafs
15th Ramadan 1438A.H
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