#462: On the Hadith: My Wife does not Withstand a Man
QUESTION
“10th Muharram 1439AH
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ إِنَّ امْرَأَتِي لاَ تَمْنَعُ يَدَ لاَمِسٍ . قَالَ ” غَرِّبْهَا ” . قَالَ أَخَافُ أَنْ تَتْبَعَهَا نَفْسِي . قَالَ ” فَاسْتَمْتِعْ بِهَا ” ._
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ), and said: My wife does not prevent the hand of a man who touches her. He said: Divorce her. He then said: I am afraid my inner self may covet her. He said: Then enjoy her.”
Sunan Abi Dawud 2049
Please what do dey mean by phrase”my inner self may covet her”?
ANSWER
Alhamdulillāh
This Hadīth is recorded by Abū Dāwud and An-Nasa’ī in their Sunan. Al-Hāfidh Ibn Hajar in the Talkhīs mentioned that the Ulamā differed on its authenticity. While Imām Ahmad and An-Nasa’ī considered it weak, others found it to be Sahih.
But the ‘Ulamā differed in the understanding of this Hadīth and in the meaning of the Wording “She does not reject the hands of a man..
The position held by the Shāfi’ī Imām Ar-Rāfi’ī, Abu ‘Ubayd, Al-Khallāl, An-Nasa’ī, Al-Khattābī, Al-Ghazzālī, An-Nawawī, and others is that: his wife could not prevent herself from adultery if a man seeks her.
Some other ‘Ulamā such as Imām Ahmad, Al-‘Asma’ī, ‘Ibn Al-Jawzī rahimahumullāh, that what it means is that she is free-giving of gifts and cannot withstand a request of something she has without giving it to the asker.
Imām As-San’ānī – rahimahullāh – in Subulussalām holds that what is meant by “She does not prevent the hand of a Man who touches her” is that she is loose in attitude and little of shyness. This position seems strongest of the Statements of the ‘Ulamā, and Allāh knows best.
The word ‘Gharrib’hā’ should not be translated as ‘divorce her’. In some other narration it says ‘Imsik’hā’ which is ‘Prevent her’ some of the ‘Ulamā interpret it as ‘doing everything to stop her by avoiding her on the bed or preventing her from going out.
As for the wording “my inner self may covet her” then what it means is that he loves her and might not be able to avoid her. For this reason the Rasūl – salallāhu alayhi wasallam – advised that he pleasures her. As-San’ānī mentioned that this means been very frequent in satisfying her sexual needs.
Allah knows best.
Bārakallāhu fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran
14th Al Muharram 1439AH
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