#532: What should a Man who was not able to pay the Mahr He promised His Wife Do?

QUESTION

” If a man and the woman have an agreement that he is going to pay her mahr in the future because what the woman ask for is too expensive for him to afford at the time of their nikkah (for example if she requested for an aeroplane) but few months into their marriage the woman started to trouble him to give her the mahr just like she is asking him for his dept when she understood that the man has not get the means yet but just want to frustrate him …Pls my question is that can the man pay her anything he can afford at the moment which is also very tangible but definitely less than what they both agree on initially because of the frustrations from the woman… Pls I need an urgent answer to the question as it has to do with the separation of the nikkah of its not settle ontime”

ANSWER

Alhamdulillāh.

The following matters present themselves in this question:

One, whose right is it to set the amount or value of the Mahr?

Two, whether it is permissible to marry without the Mahr and intend to pay it in a later date.

Three, meeting up a deadline to pay the Mahr not yet paid.

Four, whether or not it is permissible to reduce the value of the Mahr already agreed based on inability to meet an agreed deadline.

The First Matter: Whose right is it to set the Value of the Mahr?

On this, the Ulamā have mentioned that since the Mahr is the right of the bride, she, with the consultations of her Wali set the value or amount of the Mahr.

And then the Ulamā proceeded to mention the Hukm of what happens should she and her Wali disagree on what the value of her Mahr should be.

They explain that if the bride mentions an amount lower than what the Wali mentions, and they disagree in that. And the Mahru Al-Mithl (The Customary amount given as Mahr in the society) is lower than what the Wali mentioned as the Mahr, then preference is given to what she mentioned.

This is because the Ulamā believe that whenever the bride and her Wali disagree on the value/amount of the Mahr, the deciding factor to settle the difference is the Mahru Al-Mithl

This was referred in Imām Sahnūn’s Al-Mudawwanah.

Then, know, may Allāh be merciful to us all, that it is not of the Sunnah to be extravagant in the value of the Mahr.

Imām Al-Hākim recorded in his Al-Mustadrak, and Al-Bayhaqī in his Sunan that the Rasūl – salallāhu alayhi wasallam – said:

خير الصداق أيسره
“The best of Sadāq is the simplest of them.”

For this reason, Umar Ibn Al-Khattāb – radiyallāhu ‘anhu – mentioned on the Minbar, as was recorded by Ibn Mājah in the Sunan:

“Do not be extreme in setting the value of the Sadāq for women. This is because were it to be a way of Honor in this Dunya or a way of Taqwah to Allāh, then the most deserving of it would have been Muhammad – salallāhu alayhi wasallam – for he never gave any Sadāq for any if his wives, nor received Sadāq on behalf of any if his daughters for more than 12 Awqiyah. And a man will continue to feel difficulty over the value of the Sadāq for his wife in his heart until it breeds enmity in him and he says: I have carried all your burdens, even the ropes that are used to tie the sacks.”

Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah – rahimahullāh – said in Majmū’atu Al-Fatāwah:

“Whomsoever his caprice pushes him to inflate the Sadāq of his daughter above that of the daughters of the Rasūl – salallāhu alayhi wasallam – who were of the best creation of Allāh in every attribute and who are the best of the women of the world in every quality, is a ignorant fool. Same was applicable in the Sadāq of the Mothers of the Believers…”

He said also, in Al-Fatāwah Al-Kubrā:

“And the wordings of Imām Ahmad as has come in the narration of Hanbal is that the Sadāq is preferred to be 400 dirhams. This is the correct Mahr if there is capability and means, and this should not be exceeded in value.”

And it is the agreement of the Ulamā that there is no least value for the Mahr.

And 400 Dirhams mentioned by Imām Ahmad in this context is about 246 USD approximately, which is about 88,806 naira today due to the weakness of the Nigerian currency.

This was the highest bar allowed by the Fuqahā.

How then can a bride request for an aeroplane?

The Second Matter: Whether it is permissible to intend to pay the Mahr at a latter date.

This is permissible.

Imām Ibn Qudāmah Al-Maqdisī – rahimahullāh – said:

“It is permissible that the payment of the Sadāq is made before or after the entry. Or some of it before the entry and the rest after the entry because it is a token paid on agreement. So, that then is permissible just like any other price.”

The Third Matter: Meeting a deadline in the paying of the Mahr after the Nikāh.

If there was agreement to pay the Mahr or what is left of it at a particular date and time then it is obligatory upon the Husband to stick to the agreement and pay it on or before the due date.

To deliberately delay and drag the date of agreement on the payment of a debt is oppression as the Rasūl – salallāhu alayhi wasallam – said:

مطل الغني ظلم
“The deliberate delaying and postponement of paying the debt by the wealthy is oppression”

This Hadīth is in the Sahihayn.

However, if a difficulty in means warrants his inability to meet up the deadline, then the case is different here.

And it is obligatory upon her to grant him respite.

Allāh – ta’ālā – had said:

وَإِن كَانَ ذُو عُسْرَةٍ فَنَظِرَةٌ إِلَى مَيْسَرَةٍ وَأَن تَصَدَّقُواْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ إِن كُنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ.
“And if he is of those who are in difficulty, then respite should be granted until he gets some ease. And that you should give Sadaqah is better for you if you but know.”

It is an obligation to which she must abide, to grant him respite until he gets some ease.

However, it is allowed and permissible for him to renegotiate the price that they had agreed initially if he fears he will not be capable to meet up with it, And he is encouraged to seek the witnesses and negotiations of trustworthy people and her Wali inclusive, if that is needed.

But all of this is not a sufficient ground for her to seek for a divorce or to deliberately deny him some of the rights of Nikāh.

He may also begin to pay her what he had initially promised in bits and in installment if he feels that will help him.

And this is the fourth matter arising in the Question.

Bārakallāhu fīkum.

Lastly, what every person going into marriage should know, or anybody already in it, is that marriage is based upon mutual understanding, help and assistance.

A woman should not make life difficult for her husband.

Neither should a man make life abhorrent to his wife.

They should me merciful toward each other and seek to complement the errors found in each other that they may succeed with their marriage.

That is the Sunnah and that is what is expected of them.

And Allāh knows best.

Bārakallāhu fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran.

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