#616: What happens if a Man abandons his family after Marriage?
QUESTION
” As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. What will happen to a marriage in which the husband abandoned his wife and kids for over 3 years without knowing his where about. Now the woman is pressurized to get married. Please urgent”
ANSWER
Wa alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh
Alhamdulillāh.
Apologies go to you for a delay in responding to this question. We ask Allāh to forgive us and you altogether, āmīn.
As for disappearance in marriage by the husband, its ruling depends on different factors and its judgement is arrived by a judge to whom the matter is referred or by a discerning Scholar (‘Ālim) for is in acquitance with the matter and understands the Dīn and the intricacies of Fiqh.
These factors entail:
1. What are the circumstances that preceded his disappearance? Circumstances could be war, insecurity, mental challenges, etc
2. The duration he has spent away
These factors have a direct impact on the ruling to which the Qādī (Judge) or the Shaykh attending this matter arrives at.
This is because a man could be sane, responsible and able, but travelled out for Jihād and not return, or in a war time, and not return, or in a security vaccum and be away, or went out for the seeking of livelihood and be caught up in things that make him unavailable, or its likes. These wouldn’t mean he abandoned his family.
The cause for this difference is that if a man actually abandoned his family, it means he has violated the terms of marriage and trampled upon the rights of his wife and kids. This is a very strong legal standing to get the marriage dissolved by the Qādī on the request of the wife or her Awliyā (Guardians) without reference to the husband.
But if it wasn’t an irresponsible disappearance and it has to do with unknown reasons, then the Fuqahā throughout our history have mentioned its ruling thus:
That she remains for four years in waiting. And then observe the _’Iddah_ of the woman whose husband has passed away which is four months and ten days. This position was the verdict of Az-Zuhrī, Imām Ahmad and the Fellows of his school, the earlier position of Ash-Shāfi’ī and some of the Scholars. Among the Sahābah, it is the verdict of Umar Ibn Al-Khattāb and ‘Uthmān – radiyallāhu ‘anhum. This was mentioned in Al-Mawsū’atu Al-Fiq’hiyyah.
The Hanafis hold that it isn’t permissibly to dissolve this marriage until a sound report comes of his death. This is the later position attributed to Ash-Shāfi’ī – rahimahullāh.
The Mālikīs however hold that if his disappearance has nothing to do with war and insecurity, she waits for four years just as the Hanbalis have upheld.
However, if it is proven that this husband actually abandoned his wife and kids as it is mentioned in the question, and there is no way to get to him to return to his family or to divorce his wife, then the marriage is dissolved by a Qādī.
What is apparent in all of this is that this matter is only resolved by a Shaykh who discerns and is acquinted with its details as there is no definite ruling on this matter. It depends on the specifics of every matter on its own.
We will appreciate a private messaging with the details of this matter so as to enable us respond accordingly.
And Allāh knows best.
Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran
23rd Shawwal, 1439 AH.
📚 IslamNode
