#678: Is it Disobedience to My Husband when He commands Me against the Sunnah regarded as Ungratefulness?
QUESTION:
“Asalam alaykum pls anyone who is sound in seen should enlighten me.if a husband is stopping u to do sunnah& he is doing his other duties on u but he thought sunnah is extremism &u re not really happy with him,is that also ungrateful?”
ANSWER:
Wa Alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh
Alhamdulillāh.
May Allāh ease your affairs, amīn
The love of the Rasūl – salallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam – is obligatory upon all Muslims and it is a criteria for firm belief. The Rasūl – salallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam – has said as it was recorded by Imām Muslim from Abū Hurayrah – radiyallāhu ‘anhu:
لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى أكونَ أحبَّ إليه من والده وولده، والناس أجمعين
“None of you has believed until I become more beloving to him than his parents, his child(ren) and all of the people.”
But the love of the Rasūl – salallāhu’ alayhi wasallam – is manifested in the following of his footsteps and Sunnah.
Imām Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah – rahimahullāh – said in the Nūniyyah emphasizing that love is in following the footsteps of the Rasūl – salallāhu Alayhi wasallam:
شرطُ المحبةِ أن توافِقَ مَنْ تحبَّ
على محبَّته بلا عِصيانِ
فإذا ادَّعيتَ له المحبةَ مع خلافِكَ
ما يُحبُّ فأنت ذو بُهتانِ
أتحبُّ أعداء الحبيب وتدَّعي
حُبًّا له ما ذاك في إمكان
وكذا تُعادي جَاهدًا أَحبَابَه
أين المحبَّةُ يا أخا الشيطانِ
“The Condition for the existence of love is that your love coincides with what it loves without differences.
Whenever then you claim love for him while you differ with what he loves then you are a liar
Why will you love the Enemies of the Beloved and claim love for him, that’s impossible
Likewise you are at war with his beloved ones, where then is the love O Brother of the Shaytān”
That said, it is Obligatory upon any husband that knows Allāh and His Messenger to practice the Sunnah and to not just allow, but to encourage his wife and family to observe the Sunnah of the Rasūl – salallāhu Alayhi Wasallam. If a husband does do these and do not allow his wife and family to do these, then he must be rebuked and corrected. The wife must keep admonishing him and should seek the support of those around him to whom he may listen as long as in the involvement of a third party in this matter is free of worsening the situation.
Likewise, it is not Permissible for any Muslim to abandon the Sunnah for the wrath or displeasure of anyone unless if in persistence there is danger and worse problems. Even at that, it is not all the Sunnah that may be left out on this account. There are some that do not imply a Harām when they are abandoned and it is to this category that we refer.
Lastly, your complaining about this to him is not a form of been ungrateful. May Allāh strengthen you and your Imān. Amīn
Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran
7th Rabi’ul Awwal 1440H.
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