#700: Ruling on a Muslim Sister sending Her Pictures or Videos to a Brother that wants to marry Her
QUESTION:
” Assalaamu alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu. I have a question and it goes thus… A sister that stays in Maiduguri was connected with a brother in Lagos for nikāh purpose.. Due to the distance… Is it allowed for such a sister to sent her picture to the brother in question or make video calls with him.”
ANSWER:
Wa Alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh.
Alhamdulillāh.
Know firstly, that the Rasūl – salallāhu Alayhi Wasallam – has mentioned as was recorded by Imām Al-Bukhārī in his Sahīh:
ما تركت بعدي فتنة أضر على الرجال من النساء
“I have not left after me any Fitnah more harmful to men than (the Fitnah of) women.”
The Believer who fears Allāh and the Last Day, after seeing and hearing of this Hadīth would think over and over again before exposing himself to any Fitnah that has to do with women and the opposite sex generally.
The Fitnah of the opposite sex is so severe that throughout history, it’s tolls have been more than any other thing.
Otherwise, why has the Rasūl – salallāhu Alayhi Wasallam – specifically mentioned it as the most harmful to men?
In a world where there are other vices, why?
The answer is clear: it is the biggest gate through which Iblīs destroy all that is held dear.
It is also the biggest button that switches on all the other forms of following of the desires.
Imām Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah – rahimahullāh – in his illustrious book Miftāhu Dāri As-Sa’ādah mentioned that Dīn encompasses two Powers, and they are what makes Man, the most highly of Allāh’s Creation.
These two Powers are the Power of the Intellect and then the Will Power.
As for Iblīs, he attacks man’s power of the Intellect by virtue of ignorance, doubts, misconceptions and ambiguities ( Shubuhāt)
And then attacks his Will Power by virtue of the Lowly Appetites ( Shahawāt)
The king of the Shahawāt is the Sexual Appetite that is inherent in exposure to the opposite sex.
What happens? Your Will Power reduces with respect to the increase in your Shahawāt
Your Will Power is what drives you to draw closer to Allāh and to be determined to His Ibādah.
Imām Al-Qurtubī – rahimahullāh – mentioned in At-Tadhkirah so many examples of great Imāms and Pious Servants who lost their ways by virtue of their exposure to the Fitnah of the opposite sex.
We must be very careful in this regards.
Ibn Abī Shaybah mentioned in Al-Musannif from one of the Salaf that he said:
لم يكن كفر من مضى إلا من قـِبَل النساء وهو كائن كفر من بقي من قبل النساء
“The Kufr of those that preceded was not except by way of their been snared through (the Fitnah of) women. And that continues to be the gate of those that remain: through women.”
Let the People of Intellect realise that whenever the Fitnah of women is mentioned for men, it applies to the reverse, for men are also a Fitnah for women as the Qissah of Yūsuf – alayhi As-Salām – showed.
What is meant then is the Fitnah of the opposite sex but men were mentioned by way of majority, and Allāh knows best.
Secondly, you should know, may Allāh illumine our heart and yours, that the Sharī’ah only allowed for the seeing of what convinces a man and makes him satisfied in a woman he intends to marry, and this is simply her face and hands in accordance with the Mālikī positions, her house chores dressing in accordance to the Hanbalis, and her face, hands, neck and feet, in accordance with the Shāfi’ī School.
The Ulamā discouraged frequency of the seeing of this if there is seclusion.
And permitted frequency only in the company of the Mahram of the girl.
As for Pictures, some of the Ulamā have given a dispensation ( Rukhsah) with respect to it, as long as it is free of Fitnah and is sent for this purpose only.
As for Videos that exceed the guideline already mentioned above, then this is a Fitnah place of Iblīs and should be avoided.
Then, a man must realise that seeing pictures does not give a definite hint as to the woman he wants to marry.
How many a woman looks more beautiful in pictures than they truly look, or are more beautiful than they look in pictures?
For this reason Shaykh Muhammad bn Sālih Al-‘Uthaymīn – rahimahullāh – generally disliked this.
And Allāh knows best.
Lastly, we have preceded by reminding you of the Fitnah of the opposite sex, pay heed to that for with that so many doubts are cleared, so many evils are prevented and so many corruption are covered.
Is that not why the Rasūl – salallāhu Alayhi Wasallam – said:
ما رأيت من ناقصات عقل ودين ، أذهب للب الرجل الحازم ، من إحداكن يا معشر النساء
“I have not seen anything, deficient in Reason and Religiosity, but more withering of the heart of a determined man like any of you O Women.”
This is recorded by Imām Al-Bukhārī in his Sahīh.
Therefore, it’s a Maqsad among the Maqāsid of the Legislations of the Sharī’ah to close any gate that may lead to the Fitnah of the opposite sex.
And a woman must be very jealous of her privacy, her honour and her chastity for that is what she is made of.
May Allāh guide us all amīn.
Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran.
📚IslamNode
