#703: Ruling on hiding Marriage to a Second Wife from the First Wife

QUESTION:

“Assalamu alaikum ya sheikh, pls I have a question on issues on marriage pls, one of my friend marry his second wife out side, without d knowledge of d first wife in side d house, to d extend of spending almost one year with d second wife now still with out d knowledge of d first wife but d first wife have started hearing rumors now still d husband hide it from his first wife so how can I convince him DAT what his doing is not Islamic??? Pls I want Dis answer with Islamic evidence, even their parent or relative or friends doesn’t what to disclose it, in fact d first wife have 3 children while d second wife outside just lost d only baby she gave birth. Dis issues is seriously paining d first wife wondering why Dis is happening as if she is a witch or what??? What is d Islamic ruling on Dis pls???”

ANSWER:

Wa Alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh

Alhamdulillāh

Know, may Allāh be pleased with you, that to get married to more than a wife is a right of a man if he pleases and does it in accordance with the guidance of the Rasūl – salallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. He needs not be shy about it, nor to hide it from anyone, especially his first wife.

Why? Because he is not on wrong by the mere act of getting married to a second wife. Why then should he keep it a secret from her?

I would say that if this kind of scenerio were to be brought before some of the Imāms of the Past who were judges, they would have ordered that this man be flogged for oppressing this woman. Let’s go through this together:

It is true that there is no condition in the Dīn that says that a man must seek the permission of his wife to marry a second wife. If this is the case, then her knowledge of it is also not a condition to the marriage.

Why? Because the Fuqahā have a Precept that says:

“Whosoever his Permission is not a precondition for a thing, his Knowledge is not a precondition for same”

Therefore, there was no precondition to the soundness of the Marriage that he must tell her, or seek permission from her.

Likewise, if he were to hide the ‘Aqd from her, this does not translate immediately into a sin or a nullification of the marriage. That is clear.

However, if in his hiding it from her, the harms overwhelm the good in it, it is very wrong of him to do that.

For instance, his hiding it from her will lead to lies and deception and his inability to he just between them both. And this is deception that has been forbidden by the Sharī’ah.

Likewise, his hiding it from her will likely lead to his inability to give each of them their due rights of presence and the division of the nights. Why? Because he is unable to give the new wife her right without hurting the first.

Again, if in his hiding it from her is her psychological pain and depression, then this is an undue and unwarranted oppression. And oppression is Harām in the Dīn, by all means.

Then, if it is said: the reason why some men hide their marriage to the second wife from their first wives, or their marriage to the third or fourth from their earlier wives, is so that the earlier wives may not disrupt things, or so that their families may not explode the current marriage, or for Sihr reasons, or things of that nature, then let it he known here that we are not saying that there can never be a valid reason to hide such from the earlier wife or wives. Rather what we are saying here is that the harm most often outweighs the good in it.

In the case you mentioned, this hiding is completely unwarranted and holds no weight and as such, our sincere advice to the husband is to make amends, seek apology from the first wife and rectify his home.

We ask Allāh for assistance and support, amīn.

Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran.

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