#761: How to Disengage and Repent from Extra Marital Relations
761 QUESTION:
“Salamu aleikum.. If you are married and having affair wth some one else which atimes he gave you money and other things, hw am I going to repent,”
ANSWER:
Wa Alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh, Subhānallah!
Whosoever is involved in this kind of two faced life should desist from it and fear the standing before Allāh on the Day of Qiyāmah. A day when nothing will be useful to a being except his or her deeds.
يوم لا ينفع مال ولا بنون الا من أتى الله بقلب سليم
“A Day where neither wealth nor progeny will avail anyone. But the one who comes to Allāh with a clean and pure heart (will attain salvation)”
And such a woman must know that of the worst of sins is Zinā after one has gotten married, and it bears one of the worst punishments under the Sharī’ah.
Know, may Allāh bless you and keep your family pure, that the one who commits Zinā after marriage is guilty of four sins.
The first is Deception because such a woman must deceive and lie continuously to her husband and to whosoever is possible of knowing her wrong steps.
The second is betrayal of trust and failure to be faithful to her husband. And this is very negative and dirty coming from a woman. Is it not that a woman is the custodian of the secrets, properties and realm of her husband? The most important of these realms herself? The exposing of these to the easy exploit of a man aside her husband is a treachery and a betrayal of trust.
The third, going close to Zinā. Most people do not understand that going close to Zinā itself and exposing of one’s self to the risk of falling into it is a sin too.
Allāh said:
ولا تقربوا الزنا
“And go close not to Zinā”
And it is known in Usūl Al-Fiqh that the default ruling for any command not to do a thing is an indication that it is Harām unless when specifics change it.
The fourth is the Zinā itself. And it is one of the worst of sins. Ibn Hajar Al-Haytamī Ash-Shāfi’ī – rahimahullāh – in his book Az-Zawājir ‘An Iqtirāfi Al-Kabā’ir mentioned the gravity of Zinā generally and then the gravity of Zinā despite marriage.
We ask Allāh to save us from it, amīn.
Then, it is also Harām for a woman to take wealth from a man without the permission of her husband, and in such a way as to suggest an acceptance of his Zinā moves.
We ask Allāh for Salāmah. Amīn.
She must hasten to repentance and seeking for sincere forgiveness from Allāh without delay and feet-dragging. The delay in repentance is also a sin that must be avoided. To hasten to Allāh in repentance is of the Hallmark of the Believers whenever its been reminded of them their sins.
Repent to Allāh by seeking his forgiveness, using as Tawassul your Īmān and Tawhīd, and the purest of your deeds, by distancing yourself from the partner of your Zinā and damaging any outlets and ways through which you may fall again into that hole for Iblīs always leaves an outlet that you may return to same sins you repented from. Repent to Allāh by going close to Him with good deeds for good deeds delete the bad ones as the Rasūl -salallāhu alayhi wasallam – established. And seek to strengthen the physical and psychological bond with your husband.
We must also emphasize that you must sincerely regret that which you have done and wish for redemption from Allāh.
We ask Allāh to grant us His Tawfīq, His Sadād and His guidance, amīn.
Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran.
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