#495: Ruling on a Muslim Paying Condolences and Attending the Wedding of a Christian Relative

QUESTION

” What can we do about this issue… A lady told me that her father is seriously disturbing her to visit one their xtian relative that lost someone and attend their upcoming wedding… She refused to do so and it has or about to cause problem between them. Including the mother as well… it’s urgent… Jazakumullahu Khayran. They also want her to assist them for the wedding programVery urgent’

ANSWER

Alhamdulillāh.

There is nothing in the texts of the Sharī’a that forbids her to visit such a Christian relative for the purpose of condoling them for their loss. Except that some of the Ulamā disliked it and mentioned that it were only permissible if there was a Maslaha Shar’iyya attributed to it such as the opportunity to invite them to Islām.

What they are all in agreement upon is the forbiddance of praying for forgiveness and mercy for the Kāfir dead.

Imām An-Nawawī – rahimahullāh – mentioned in the Muhadhdhab that some of the Ulamā chose the use of the words:

أخلف الله عليك ولا نقص عددك
“May Allāh spare much for you and not reduce your number”

As words of condolence.

In anyways, what is obligatory is to ensure that the words used during such condolences do not bear any traces of love and support of their ways, or mercies and forgiveness for the dead.

Evidence for this is what Allāh – ta’ālā – said:

(ما كان للنبي والذين آمنوا أن يستغفروا للمشركين ولو كانوا أولي قربى من بعد ما تبين لهم أنهم أصحاب الجحيم) [التوبة: 113] “It is not for the Prophet or for those who believe that they should seek forgiveness for the Mushrikīn, even if they were near of kin after it has become clear to them that they were of the People of the Fire.”

And the Rasūl – salallāhu alayhi wasallam – said in the Hadīth that was recorded by Imām Muslim in the Sahīh:

: ( والذي نفسي بيده لايسمع بي أحد من هذه الأمة ، ولايهودي ولانصراني ، ثم يموت ولم يؤمن بالذي أرسلت به إلا كان من أصحاب النار )
“By He in whose Hands lie my soul, nobody of this later generation: neither Jew nor Christian hears of me and then dies without believing in that with which I have been sent unless that he is of the People of the Fire”

That said, there is nothing wrong with her paying such a condolence visit Allāh willing, neither is there anything wrong in attending their wedding as long as she avoids the free mingling and other muharramāt there.

Bārakallāhu fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran.

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