#574: The ruling on Traditional Dowries that are presented before Marriage
QUESTION
“Assalamu alaykum
Please I have an important question which a lot of brothers are asking.
In Ebira culture (similar to many others), our people demand that one brings yam, oil, fish and salt as a marriage requirement. Some have opined that this tradition traces back to some polytheistic practices while some others have said it conforms with our people’s historic profession; though it kept being modified until what we have today.
A similar situation plays out is some cultures were it a requirement to bring certain amount of boxes.
What is the Shari’ah ruling on all these especially if made binding? How should a Muslim in such situation approach it?
Jazakumullahu khayran
Ya Ustaz please this is quite an urgent Question. Please it would be greatly appreciated if it is answered early… Jazakumullahu khayran”
ANSWER
Wa alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh.
Alhamdulillāh!
We ask Allāh to reward you for your patience in the delay to responding to this question, āmīn.
Bārakallāhu fīkum.
As for your question, know, may Allāh be merciful to us and to you, that the ‘Ulamā have divided the affairs of man in the realm of this life into two:
That which is a Worship to Allāh and is your relationship with your Lord. This is known as ‘Ibādāt. What is default here is that it is not legislated to do a thing but that which Allāh has legislated and commanded.
That which is a dealing with oneself or with other humans or creations of Allāh and it is known as Mu’āmalāt…
What is known in this category of doing is that everything is allowed and permissible unless that which is clearly prohibited with proof of evidence.
The illustrious Imām Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah – rahimahullāh – referred to this in his Sterling book I’ilām Al-Muwaqqi’īn
What is apparent to us, and Allāh knows best is that there is nothing harmful in these traditions as long as they do not make it difficult for marriage to take place to the daughters. If this happens as this seems to be the case, then such falls under the ruling of I’dāl (Making things difficult for the female) as was mentioned by the ‘Ulamā and which, in its extreme condition takes Wilāyah (guardianship) away from the Parents of the Girl/woman.
A Muslim should approach this with the Wisdom expected of a believer, which is to accept such requirements within his capability and get them ready for his Nikāh. We recommend that the sister, if she is one possessed of understanding, to seek a reduction from her Parents on behalf of the brother.
We do not consider this tradition to be akin to polytheistic origins, and Allāh knows best. For those that opine that it holds polytheistic origins, it is upon them to present their evidences in this regards.
We ask Allāh to make Nikāh easy for our unmarried brothers and sisters, and to grant us Tawfīq and Sadād in all we do, āmīn.
Bārakallāhu fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran
20th Sha’ban 1439AH
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