#694: Ruling on the Tradition of Families saying “Our Wife”

QUESTION:

“Q. Assalamu alaykum. Jazakumullahu khayran for the effort. How people often refer to their relative’s wife as ‘our wife’. Like “how is our wife doing” . Is this correct?”

ANSWER:

Wa Alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh.

Alhamdulillāh!

May Allāh reward you too, amīn.

This is a tradition and there wouldn’t have been anything wrong with it if the statement was meant to mean ‘our relative’s wife’.

But how many limits of Allāh have been transgressed by way of this? We have heard husband’s brothers touching husband’s wives in the name of our wife. And many other limits of Allāh have been transgressed by so doing.

Once the Rasūl – salallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam – said:

إياكم والدخول على النساء

“Beware of entering solitary places with women”

Then a man among the Ansār said:

“What about the Hamuw?”

He – salallāhu Alayhi Wasallam – said:

الحمو الموت

“The Hamuw is death”

This Hadīth is recorded by Imām Al-Bukhārī and Muslim.

The Hamuw is the Male Relative of the Husband other than his father and grandfather, and the reference to him as death here is to emphasize the danger in a woman’s been alone with him. An-Nawawī – rahimahullāh – mentioned that it was a customary thing that people were negligent of this danger and didn’t care if their male relatives seclude with their wives at home or other places, they felt secured. But so many limits of Allāh have been transgressed by way of this.

Likewise, how often times has such remarks created wrong impressions that have made things difficult for the wives?

That things be named with their right names is of the sound qualities that Islām highlighted. It is known to be among the tricks of Shaytān to snare people into transgressing the limits of Allāh by making them call things with other than their rightful names.

Let then the People of Īmān desist from this despicable tradition that leads to nothing but the transgression of His Limits.

Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazākumullāhu Khayran

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