#106: Advice to the Muslim Sister with Persistent Sexual Urge

Alhamdulillāh Wassalātu Wassalāmu Alā Rasulillāh Wa Ālihi Wasahbihi Wasallam.

Assalāmu alaykum Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh

Alhamdulillāh.

The situation depicted in the question implies that she suffers from this persistent urges that is feared can lead to what is not praised.

The Ulamā have agreed that whenever a lady is at a marriable age and her Awliyā, without a just reason prevent her from getting married entirely or getting her somebody to marry, their status as her Awliyā ceases to have any weight in the Sharī’a entirely.

This is because the essence of the Wilāyah is to look after her interests in regards to marriage and safety that she may not fall into catastrophes in this world and/or the hereafter.

Allāh – ta’ālā – warned us in the Qur’ān against forcing women against their wills in regards to marriage saying:

( فلا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ )

“And do not hold them back in force against their wishes.”

Imām Ibn Qudāmah Al-Maqdisī – rahimahullāh – said in Al-Mughnī:

“And the meaning of _’Adhl’_ is to prevent a woman from getting married to a proper suit for her if she seeks for it and they (the man and her) both want to marry each other…”

Once it becomes apparent that the Father is refusing to attend to her needs in this regards and assist her get married to protect her from the fitnah, all efforts must be put to making him realise the danger of what he is doing and to make him change his position. To achieve this, the intervention of Scholars, notable people in the society and family members are needed. If that fails, then his authority over her in Wilāyah ceases to exist and then it moves to other of her Awliyā.

According to what the Ulamā established, if it falls from the Father, the next in line of her Awliyā is paternal grandfather, then her son if she has one, then her brothers if she has them, then their sons (her nephews from brothers), then her paternal uncles, then the Leader of the Muslims or the Muslim judge. In the possible absence of all of these, then a respected leader of the Muslim Ummah such as a known scholar or a man reputable with piety.

These are the steps that we advise you to take in this regard.

The only solution to the situation you described is marriage and we ask Allah to make it easy for you, āmīn.

Bārakallāhu feekum.

22nd Al Muharram 1438.