#240: Ruling on Step Wives Breast-Feeding each other`s Babies
QUESTION
” As salaam alaykum, please I want to know Islamic view on this issue. There are two Ummus (women), married to the same husband (mathna), both of them are nursing mothers and each time the first wife’s baby need her mother’s attention (breast feed) the second wife attends to the baby and vice versa. The husband is a doctor and he’s aware, so I think there is nothing wrong in it medically and the Ummus are physically fits. Please what does Islam says about this, the Ummus are alive and healthy.”
ANSWER
Wa alaykum salaam warahmatullaah wabarakaatuh
Alhamdulillah!
The Ulamaa are at a consensus that it is only permissible to give a child to another woman, other than his own mother to breast feed if the following conditions are fulfilled:
A. The pleasure and acceptance of the nursing mother is secured. It is not permissible to force a woman to nurse a child that is not hers.
B. The permission of the husband of the nursing mother is gotten. Some of the Ulamaa say: this is because some of his rights to foreplay is diminished by nursing a child.
The author of ‘Kashshaafu Al-Qinaa’ said:
“It is not permissible for a wife to nurse other than her own child unless she has the permission of her husband… Due to some of his rights that he would have to forfeit to the child.”
Women should take heed, that any form of child training that isn’t your child must only come from you if you have the full permission of your husband.
3. The acceptance of the father of the Child, or his Wali
4. It must be in the best interest of the child. This is because the child is immensely affected by the woman that nurses him.
The author of the Maliki ‘Al-Fawaakihu Ad-Dawaani’ said:
“It is obligatory that the woman that is hired to wet-nurse the child does not have in her breast milk some deficiencies such as her been mentally retarded, foolish or dull. This is because it affects the child under breastfeeding.”
In the past, the Arabs used to say:
الحلم من الحلمة
“Clemency and foresight is gotten from the nipples of a woman.”
What that means is that the set of mental, psychological, and social alertness a child later develops is owed much to the woman who breast feeds the child. For this reason, the early Arabs would choose carefully wet nurses for their babies.
As for Mahramiyya (becoming of Mahram) due to wet nursing, the majority of the Fuqahaa hold that it must be with the following conditions:
1. That the child sucked from the woman’s breasts 5 various times that are uninterrupted and got to the child’s stomach.
2. That this happened during the first 2 years of the child.
That said, there is nothing wrong in the situation you depicted as long as all the parties involved are pleased and accepted of that. It only strengthens the bond of the family and eliminates rancour and suspicion.
However, it should be ensured that the other woman is intelligent and good as a nursing mother for the other’s children.
Allaahu A’alam
Baarakallaahu feekum
Jazaakumullaahu khayran 📨@IslamNode📤
