#906: Can I Begin Expressing My Interest To Marry A Girl By Speaking To Her On Phone?

“Assalamu Alaykum! Is it permissible for me to speak to a lady on phone making her know my intention of willing to marry her then after which I will ask her to inform her parents for me to seek there consent?”

ANSWER:

Wa Alaykum Salām Warahmatullāh Wabarakātuh

Please know, may Allāh illumine your heart and soul, that the correct methodology with regards to seeking the hands of a Lady in marriage is to seek permission to speak to her firstly from one who is in authority over her

And the most authorised over her is her father, brother, son or Paternal Uncles

They are her Awliyā and you must seek their permission to speak to her first before you are allowed to discuss any Marital interests with her

This is the Rule of the Sharī’ah
If it is said, her Parents will not listen to me until she mentions me to them, then we say, if that be the case, you must express Interest and discuss this with her brother or uncles as we have mentioned above before you are allowed to have discussions with her

We are aware that some of the Ulamā allow that a man expresses interest to marry a woman to her directly and without necessarily asking permission to express interest from one or more of her Awliyā firstly, but that position is weak

As for the holders of that position, they upheld that this Permissibility is prefixed on the eventual acceptance or rejectance of the Walī

This position is weak as we have said and it most times lead to transgressing the limits of the Sharī’ah and trampling on the honour and dignity of the girl without restrictions
And Allāh knows best

Bārakallāhu Fīkum
Jazakumullāhu Khayran

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